problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
false alarm. still invincible.
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she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
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Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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