im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
