I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
