Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
