I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
