Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
As shirtless as possible
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
