I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
