Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize