margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize