Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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