Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
