I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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