Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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