so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
he's single and there are thong briefs.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
