I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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