He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Randomize