16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I will be naked everywhere
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
