Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
