In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
