this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
