I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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