Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
