it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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