Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
