Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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