so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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