can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
