New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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