A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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