You're my little dorito
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
