This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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