last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?