butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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