Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
