we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
