Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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