dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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