I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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