We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
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