I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
