my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
