So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
