I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
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