I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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