so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
