scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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