you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
