after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
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Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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