I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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