If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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