Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
