I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Can I color on your dick again?
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
