Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize
