yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
