you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
