We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
