White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
