I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize